now i really want to go buy Simon.

Improvisation 31 (Sea Battle) - Kandinsky

"Arkansas Police seized nearly 500 lbs of marijuana on a tour bus returning from NBA All-Star Weekend in Phoenix, this week. According to the driver, the bus was allegedly escorting Fabolous to Boston to pick up 'a rapper whose name he couldn't recall.' Though Fab was not on the bus at the time of the seizure, the two men who were arrested claimed that Fabolous had loaded the marijuana into the locked compartment, as well as close to $6,500 in cash, which the police also confiscated."

500 pounds????????????

"Hi. I'm Tracy Jordan. I'm black NBC. Very proud. Like peacocks. Right, Janet."

-Tracy Jordan

always loved the song...love the (unofficial) video.

lifestyles of the rich and famous
bought a big house and a whole lot of rangers
a fresh new couch and a whole lot of trainers
a closet full of clothes and some brand new dangers
and
some mexican floral arrangers
a great big tv there to entertain us
some colorful commissions from some high paid painters
someone to take the wrap so that i stay stainless
and
a new relationship with a banker
two pinky rings for my manicured fingers
a trained german shepherd that bark when it's angered
to watch my possessions and look out for strangers
and
a 50 foot yacht with an anchor
young supermodel that shall remain nameless
ups and the downs
the sames and the changes
all the money in the world don't make it painless

i love graphjam

"Stop eating people's old french fries, pigeon. Have some self respect. Don't you know you can fly?"

-Tracy Jordan

"Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets. That's a metaphor."

-Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock

instead of doing this on facebook, im doing it here. enjoy.

1. i have a small dent in my eyelid from a chicken pock scar. no eyelashes can grow there.
2. the first, and only, time i got pulled over for a moving violation was making a left turn where there was a HUGE "no left turn" sign. i legitimately did not see it.
3. i'm a really good speller and hated "sounding it out" when i was little.
4. i've seen every episode of Punky Brewster while most people have never even heard of it.
5. i plan to write a novel or a memoir someday.
6. i've never owned a real pair of Uggs, only knock-offs.
7. i went to a sleep-away camp with llamas.
8. i straightened my hair every day for the first 2 years of high school.
9. i've watched every season of The Real World since hawaii.
10. if i had my choice of an actress to play me in a movie, it would be maggie gyllenhaal.
11. i've always wanted to dye my hair dark brown and i once accidentally dyed it red.
12. i bought eric clapton's autobiography but never read it.
13. i fell asleep on 3 separate occasions trying to watch Pirates of the Caribbean. no, i've never see the whole thing and i don't plan to.
14. i love watching documentaries, particularly ones about hip hop.
15. i'd like to raise my kids in brookline.
16. i used to have many pictures of britney spears on my wall. this wasn't actually that long ago.
17. i love all types of cheese except swiss. string cheese is particularly fun.
18. i love to drive and driving an atv was one of the best things ever.
19. as an only child, i have many only child tendencies. these are harder to overcome than one might think.
20. pinos has the best pizza i've ever tasted. dragon star has the best chicken wings and wonton soup.
21. i've seen all 9 seasons of seinfeld at least four times each. getting the entire series for my 21st birthday was the best present EVER.
22. i love watching nancy grace, all day, every day.
23. i check perez hilton several times a day and when i'm not at a computer, i check it on my phone.
24. the first thing i ever wanted to be when i grew up was a radio dj. i'm pretty sure this was only because i thought they got a lot of free concert tickets.
25. i hate romantic comedies but i love julia roberts.

"and on the 8th day, god updated wikipedia"

-anonymous

ThisIsWhyYou'reFat.com

uhh most of this stuff looks pretty delicious...

i love theeeese. especially the typeface they use to write "louis vuitton" on the lens. usually something i hate, but it works for these.

mia is the shit.

i'm watching the grammy performance of jay-z, kanye, ti, lil wayne, and mia right now. first, mia is a PIMP. she's freakin 9 months pregnant (i'm pretty sure i read her due date was today) and ballin out on stage. word. and did the feed mess up or is this supposed to be broadcast in black and white? oh, now it's in color. weird. also kanye's hair is UGLY as shit. kanye, we're not in the '80's anymore my dear. get a haircut.

you sound like you're from london

one of many reasons why i love paul rudd.

"yeah, bitch."

"Okay. Let's go drop acid with the Beatles."

-Darlene, "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story"