"If you met you in person, would you like yourself?"

michael jackson died???????

"I am so often puzzled (by journalists). Sometimes they go, 'So what's this all about?...What do you look like when you go home? Do you dress like this all the time?' It's rude! It's not nice...(Lady Gaga) is who I am. Me and my hair bow, we go to bed together. She sleeps where I sleep."

-Lady Gaga

hmmm.

so, i don't think i'm going to be able to make it to rock the bells this year, unfortunately.

but...atmosphere plays in nyc at webster hall on july 27.
and...tracy morgan does stand-up in boston on august 8.

yesss.

i guess i'm not allowed to embed the video.

click here instead.

Us Now

"So Bo does not eat tomatoes. Never has. Never will. And that's the story of how we spent an hour-and-a-half trying to get a goddamn veterinary expert on the phone because of a grand and diabolical lie told by your government. Now we know exactly what it's like to be Iranian."

-Gawker

i want to be lady gaga.

"This is the thing that I'm the worst at in the world. This. This and drawing."

-Larry David

several things...

watched what's eating gilbert grape. fantastic movie. leo and johnny depp are unbelievable. the most interesting aspect of the movie was how it was truly timeless. i thought it took place in the mid 80's-mid 90's. my mother thought it took place in the 70's. by not specifying a year, or even a decade, the movie becomes instantly relevent no matter when it is viewed. only negative of the movie - i didn't love juliette lewis's portrayal of her character.

rewatched waking ned devine on the plane back from st. louis to boston. though that movie is still hard to understand because of the accents, it is such a classic and hilarious. AND eloise hawking is in it!

saw the hangover, which was funny but predictable.

next on the queue is mulholland drive.

moving to new york in 10 days and becoming a real person in 17.

what do tigers dream of?

when they take a little tiger snooze.

You didn't go out much in Vegas?

I did rent one of those Rascals - those things that old people or obese people use to get around. They're big in Vegas because we're all just fat and lazy. I wore nothing but a robe and sunglasses and went around the entire town. But most nights, I found myself back in my hotel watching a Lifetime movie. That's more my scene.

-Zach Galifianakis