My friend said to me, "I think the weather's trippy." I said, "No, man, it's not the weather that's trippy, perhaps it is the way that we perceive it that is indeed trippy." Then I thought, "Man, I should've just said, 'Yeah.'"

-Mitch Hedberg

"The experience of moving online actually bears quite a few similarities to becoming a New Yorker. Disorienting and seemingly endless, the Internet conversation moves at lightening speed and according to unstated social rules that can bewilder outsiders."

"You gotta tell the fans that you not gettin ' no younger here - we gettin' older! And everybody don't sell crack no more, man. I don't sell crack, yo. I ain't movin' no bricks or none of that other shit. I ain't shoot nobody in like...since the early 90's, man."

-Ghostface

and this is why twitter is awesome but useless...

hipster job

this video confuses me...and i like it...

"With the artist Dan Colen and others, Mr. Snow installed a Hamster's Nest at Deitch Projects, a SoHo gallery. A Hamster's Nest is what it sounds like, but with humans in the rodent roles: You shed a few hundred phone books, paint the walls, then ingest enough intoxicants so that every scrap of sentience disappears.

'It was really intense,' recalled Ms. Snow, whose divorce from Dash was finalized this summer, though she remained close to him to the end. 'We were all really high, and there were concerts. It was like a whole other world, an intense moment, all these people with paper, piles of Yellow Pages, no air or ventilation and fumes everywhere. We were already so drunk. The iPods kept getting lost in the paper.' Three days later - with no clue how it happened - she woke up in Berlin."

atmosphere tomorrow.

it's the caffeine the nicotine the milligrams of tar it's my habitat it needs to be cleaned it's my car it's the fast talk they use to abuse and feed my brain it's the cat box it needs to be changed it's the pain it's women it's the plight for power it's government it's the way you're giving knowledge slow with thought control and subtle hints it's rubbing it itching it it's applying cream it's the foreigners sight seeing with high beams it's in my dreams it's the monsters that i conjure it's the marijuana it's the embarrassment displacement it's where i wander it's my genre it's madonna's videos it's game shows it's cheap liquor blunts it's bumper stickers with rainbows it's angels demons gods it's the white devils it's the monitor the sound man it's the motherfucking mic levels it's gas fumes fast food tommy hil mommy's pill columbia house music club designer drugs and rhyming thugs it's bloods crips five six it's stick up kids it's christian conservative terrorists it's porno flicks it's the east coast no it's the west coast it's public schools it's asbestos it's mentholated it's techno it's sleep life and death it's speed coke and meth it's hay fever pain relievers oral sex and smoker's breath it stretches for as far as the eye can see it's reality fuck it it's everything but me it's in the water it's in the air it's in the meat it's indirect indiscrete it's inconsistent incomplete it's in the streets every city everywhere you go in every man it's the insanity the fantasies the casualties it's the health care system it's welfare victims it's assault weapons it's television religion and it's false lessons it's cops police pigs with badges guns and sticks it's harassment and a complex you carry when you're running shit it's wondering if you get to eat it's the heat it's the winter the weather it's herpes and it's forever it's the virus that takes the lives of weak and it's strong it's the drama that keeps on between me and my seed's mom it's the need to speak long it's that hunger for attention it's the wack who attacks songs of redemption it's prevention it's the first solution it's loose it's up for retribution it's mental pollution and public execution it's the nails that keep my hands and feet to these boards it's the part time job that governs what you can afford it's the fear it's the fake it's clear it can make time stop and leave you stranded in the year of the snake it's the dollar yen pound it's all denominations it's hourly wages for your professional observations it's on your face and it's in your eyes everything you be 'cause it ain't me motherfucker 'cause it ain't me...

"i ain't gonna tell you that you better not do it
but master your high try not to abuse it
stay away from me if your life's getting stupid
and please stop pretending that it makes better music."

-atmosphere, "feel good hit of the summer 2"

new atmosphere mixtape, "leak at will," is sick.

download it for free here.

all music should be free.

"Somewhere in North Dakota, there is a town called Owl that isn't there. Disco is over but punk never happened. They don't have cable. They don't really have pop culture, unless you count grain prices and alcoholism. People work hard and then they die. They hate the government and impregnate teenage girls. But that's not nearly as awful as it sounds; in fact, sometimes it's perfect.

Chuck Klosterman's Downtown Owl is the unpretentious, darkly comedic story of how it feels to exist in a community where rural mythology and violent reality are pretty much the same thing. It's technically about certain people in a certain place at a certain time...but it's really about a problem. And the problem is this: What does it mean to be a normal person? And there is no answer. But in Downtown Owl, what matters more is how you ask the question."

-Back-cover blurb of Downtown Owl by Chuck Klosterman.

just finished this book. i didn't enjoy it as much as the pop culture essays in his other nonfiction books. his writing style doesn't quite adapt to fiction, though i still loved the utter honesty and shrewd take on the world that klosterman does so well. this book also does such a great service to owl, north dakota, depicting it simultaneously as a unique place that could be anywhere. the ending, though somewhat rushed and forced, was appropriate for the book and, really, it couldn't have ended any other way - with 2 of the 3 main characters dying.

the proust questionnaire

1. what is your idea of perfect happiness?

2. what is your greatest fear?

3. what is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

4. what is the trait you most deplore in others?

5. which living person do you most admire?

6. what is your greatest extravagance?

7. what is your current state of mind?

8. what do you consider the most overrated virtue?

9. on what occasion do you lie?

10. what do you most dislike about your appearance?

11. which living person do you most despise?

12. what is the quality you most like in a man?

13. what is the quality you most like in a woman?

14. which words or phrases do you most overuse?

15. what or who is the greatest love of your life?

16. when and where were you happiest?

17. which talent would you most like to have?

18. if you could change on thing about yourself, what would it be?

19. what do you consider your greatest achievement?

20. if you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

21. where would you most like to live?

22. what is your most treasured possession?

23. what do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

24. what is your favorite occupation?

25. what is your most marked characteristic?

26. what do you most value in your friends?

27. who are your favorite writers?

28. who is your hero of fiction?

29. which historical figure do you most identify with?

30. who are your heroes in real life?

31. what are your favorite names?

32. what is it that you most dislike?

33. what is your greatest regret?

34. how would you like to die?

35. what is your motto?

3 days til atmosphere.

bottles and pints

and shots and cans

couches and floors 

and drunk best friends

models and whores

and tattooed hands

cities and secrets

and cats and vans

good times

laughter

bad decisions

strippers and actors

and average musicians

mornings after

and walks of shame

the bartender knows me by my real name

sing it.

eggs benedict according to wylie dufresne.

david letterman seems confused. tracy morgan seems fucking awesome.

"I feel pretty good. [Universal marketing execs] tell me that people will go, and that's important. I've had them not go before, and that does not feel as good. The first few reviews have piddled in, and seem like they won't haunt me at night. And that they like the movie. Some people really like the movie, and some people hate my fucking guts. So, it's a good healthy mix."

-Judd Apatow on Funny People

i can't decide if i want to see this movie.

Aside from the seasonal stuff, what are your five refrigerator must-haves?

Mustard, cornichons, maple syrup, cheese, bacon...

-Gordon Hamersley

he somehow managed to live in the world entirely in his own way, at his own pace, and with his own sense of how things should be

is this possible

if so how

What's your favorite medication?

Michael Ian Black: Currently Ambien, although I don't know if that counts as a medication since I don't take it to medicate anything other than consciousness. But I'll pretty much swallow anything that comes in pill form.

"I am writing an 'important' memoir about not being able to write an important memoir. It winds up being kind of a novel-length comedic essay on insecurity and procrastination."

-michael showalter

and a snapple!

michael and michael have issues made me laugh out loud, which few television shows/movies/comedians can make me do.

taking woodstock

clearly must see this.

"My name is Amy, and I'm an adult. I suspect that you're too young to understand what 'adult' means, so let me explain. It means that I'm taller than you, and smarter, and that I get to do lots of awesome things, like smoke cigarettes and ovulate. It also means that I like to take naps on airplanes and read my newspaper in silence. These things seem to be very different from the things that you like to do."

-Amy Ozols, "Making Friends" from The New Yorker

"'You can't blame yourself for that,' said Horace. 'Nobody can predict the future.'
'Actually, we can,' said Chester. 'The only thing we can't predict are the details.'"

-Chuck Klosterman, Downtown Owl

"This unexpected clarity was the catalyst for an important three-minute conversation, even though neither of them knew it at the time (or even in the future)."

-Chuck Klosterman, Downtown Owl

"Society is so confused, Mitch thought. Everyone wanted to become the person they were already pretending to be."

-Chuck Klosterman, Downtown Owl

"'Why do we get out of bed?' Mitch wondered. 'Is there any feeling better than being in bed? What could possibly feel better than this? What is going to happen in the course of my day that will be an improvement over lying on something very soft, underneath something very warm, wearing only underwear, doing absolutely nothing, all by myself?'"

-Chuck Klosterman, Downtown Owl

"Things in his life were (possibly) about to change (completely). And they did, but not in the way he had hoped."

-Chuck Klosterman, Downtown Owl

"He had struck the cerebral switch that makes someone actively decide they are going to be in love with a specified individual, simply because that is the person they are going to be in love with. There is no feeling that can match the emotive intensity of an attraction devoid of explanation."

-Chuck Klosterman, Downtown Owl

"This is something that's going to happen, and it's going to happen to all of us."

-Chuck Klosterman, Downtown Owl

"But whenever I meet dynamic, nonretarded Americans, I notice that they all seem to share a single unifying characteristic: the inability to experience the kind of mind-blowing, transcendent romantic relationship they perceive to be a normal part of living."

-Chuck Klosterman

"I remember saying things, but I have no idea what was said. It was generally a friendly conversation."

-Associated Press reporter Jack Sullivan, attempting to recount a 3 A.M. exchange we had at a dinner party and inadvertently describing the past ten years of my life.

-Chuck Klosterman, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs

i've never seen sacha baron cohen not in character. he's pretty sweet. great accent and hilarious.

500 days of summer

this movie looks like it has some potential. however...

did they not rip off garden state with the intro in the elevator? um, the smiths? the shins?

joseph gordon-levitt reminds me of heath ledger. or is that just because they were both in 10 things i hate about you?

beautiful, dirty, rich

lady gaga = mickey avalon lyrics + terry richardson photography + madonna style + crazy awesomeness

some movies i've seen recently:

Moon - starring sam rockwell and kevin spacey. just saw this indie sci-fi film (yes, i just used the word film) at the sunshine cinema on the lower east side. going along with my recent preoccupation to find the weirdest movies i can, this one didn't let me down. it's essentially about a man (sam rockwell) working on the moon who discovers he is a clone. thus begins his journey to discover what it means to be a clone and what it means to be a "real" person. if your life has been lived by someone else, and that someone else is you, does your life have any real meaning? put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Mulholland Drive - possibly the weirdest movie i've ever seen. i thought i'd love it, and didn't. any movie that uses a dream as its basis for the bizarre just doesn't cut it with me (one exception: the wizard of oz). sure, my dreams are weird as hell. but if i put them all in a movie and then woke up at the end, i don't think even i would want to watch it. i did appreciate david lynch's underlying critique of hollywood, as a disillusioned place where dreams are consistently broken.

Vanilla Sky - i still can't quite decide if i liked this movie. penelope cruz, jason lee, and cameron diaz were fantastic. i'm not a tom cruise fan and, for the life of me, can't picture him doing anything other than jumping on oprah's couch and calling matt lauer "glib." despite that, i did like the Life Extension/Lucid Dream plot turn, though i didn't fully buy it while watching the movie. similar to mulholland drive, it seemed like a cop-out, though a theoretically interesting and mentally stimulating one.

Adaptation - i certainly wasn't expecting what i got with this one. i loved the first 3/4 of this movie. nicolas cage was, surprisingly, very, very good as both charlie and donald kaufman. charlie's inner turmoil was relatable, and his relationship with donald hilarious. meryl streep is arguably the best actress of her generation (and perhaps one of the best of all time) and did not disappoint. her character's relationship with john laroche (chris cooper) was nuanced and imperfect and completely believable. i felt, however, that the movie seriously declined into far-fetched territory when streep's character began snorting orchid drugs and trying to kill charlie and donald. um, she's a highly acclaimed author for the new yorker, really? anyways, the meta meta meta aspects of this movie were right up my alley. in reality, the movie is written by charlie kaufman and based on the book "the orchid thief" by susan orlean. in the movie, charlie kaufman is adapting the book "the orchid thief," by susan orlean, into a movie. fiction and nonfiction collide perfectly and the audience never knows what's what. i mean, the real charlie kaufman put the name "donald kaufman" on the Adaptation script and dedicated the film to him. donald kaufman does not exist.

next on the queue: being john malkovich

also really want to see: it might get loud

after that: the girlfriend experience, food inc., the september issue, and valentino

i don't even know what a cerebral movie is...

so according to netflix, i enjoy the following:

mind-bending, independent, cerebral movies.

movies starring edward norton.

critically-acclaimed comedies.

visually-striking gritty dramas.

and dark thrillers.

Moonlight Sonata

possibly my favorite piece of classical music. unfortunately, i quit playing the piano just as i was learning this piece.

no i did not take this photograph.

my first year seeing the new york city july 4 fireworks, i was disappointed. certainly not by the impressiveness of the event (i don't think anybody could call 22 tons of fireworks unimpressive). instead, i was struck by how viewing 5 simultaneous fireworks displays side-by-side seems to reduce the power of the light, colors, and sound.

i prefer eating dinner on the beach, listening to the boston pops orchestra, and watching a single fireworks display above my head as the 1812 overture plays.

oh well, next year...

oh hey...from before...

"Listen, Coop - last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this: Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and fuck his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you."

just watched wet hot again. gets better every time.