why are there so many television advertisements for toothpaste and mouthwash but almost none for dental floss?

Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina tuna.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.

my advance lasted me about a week
after taxes, my bills, and a big sack of weed.

-asher roth

"sorry it took me so long to answer. i was just thinking about how weird it is that we eat birds."

-tracy jordan

just watched Rachel Getting Married. anne hathaway was fantastic, but the whole ultra-liberal, multi-racial, indian-themed wedding was distracting and took away from the movie as a whole. i just couldn't completely believe that situation, which was unfortunate because it should have been a movie i loved. next on the queue: unfaithful.

"There are these things, which I call "self transforming machine elves," I also call them self-dribbling basketballs. They are, but they are none of these things. I mean you have to understand: these are metaphors in the truest sense, meaning that they're lies! [...] I name them 'Tykes' because tyke is a word that means to me a small child, ... and when you burst into the DMT space this is the Aeon - it's a child, and it's at play with colored balls, and I am in eternity, apparently, in the presence of this thing."

-Terrence McKenna, "Time and Mind"

that is, a sailor of the mind/soul

a psychonaut is a person who experiences intentionally induced altered states of consciousness in an attempt to investigate his or her mind, and possibly address spiritual questions, through direct experience. psychonauts tend to be pluralistic, willing to explore mystical traditions from established world religions, meditation, lucid dreaming, technologies such as brainwave entrainment and sensory deprivation, and often psychedelic drugs.

goals of psychonautic practices may be to answer questions about how the mind words, improve one's psychological state, answer existential or spiritual questions, or improve cognitive performance in everyday life.

a preposition is something you should never end a sentence with.

i watched into the wild last night (well, i guess this morning technically), and now i can't stop thinking about chris mccandless.

and here's jon krakauer's article that his book is based on.

"i'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor, insignificant preamble to something else."

wiley wiggins, the actor who plays mitch kramer in dazed and confused, is also the main character in waking life. this seems both very strange and very appropriate to me.

also, i have seen very few of yahoo's 100 movies to see before you die.

"When the economy fell apart I thought, Oh no! What's going to happen to me? And then nothing happened. Because I have...nothing. No savings, no investments, no mortgage. It's like the world is rewarding me for being a transient screwup."

-Ophira Eisenberg

the cereal game

rules of the cereal game:
1. list your top 5 favorite sugar cereals (in no particular order)
2. list your top 5 favorite non-sugar cereals (in no particular order)
3. that's it

my sugar cereals are:
1. lucky charms
2. reese's puffs
3. golden grams
4. corn pops
5. frosted flakes

my non-sugar cereals are:
1. honey nut cheerios
2. kix
3. raisin bran
4. chex
5. special k

this is far too entertaining.

Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events which are causally unrelated occurring together in a supposedly meaningful manner. In order to count as synchronicity, the events should be unlikely to occur together by chance.

Apophenia is the experience of seeing patterns or connections in random or meaningless data.

he's white. he raps. i like him.

"if jason bourne was to record and join forces with zach morris they'd form my performance"

-asher roth, "cannon"

i no longer know who i am and i feel like the ghost of a total stranger.

"arcueil" sam francis, 1956

oil on canvas

"sleeping effot" jackson pollock, 1953

oil and duco enamel on canvas

pictures of sandwiches!

i can't stop blogging quotes...

"so there you go - if you want a blog as successful as kanye's, it's as simple as having a camera, staff of two, and a guy who goes to cool places all the time."

-nymag

"i had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. first of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time...for me, it was lying on my back at boy scout camp, watching falling stars...and yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street...or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper...and the first time i saw my cousin tony's brand new firebird...and janie...and janie...and...carolyn. i guess i could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me...but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. sometimes i feel like i'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...and then i remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and i can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life...you have no idea what i'm talking about, i'm sure. but don't worry...you will someday."

-lester burnham, "american beauty"

some things to ponder...

from chuck klosterman:

"it's astonishing to consider all the things from your past that used to happen all the time but (a) never happen anymore, and (b) never even cross your mind."

"maybe something will happen, or maybe it won't. that's all there is."

"but every year i don't die, those 16 wonderful moments become more and more lucid, and the 21 bad ones morph into one big fight that almost seems charming."

"it was absolutely the most successful entanglement i've ever had with anyone, and it never failed. until, of course, it failed. and then it failed spectacularly."

"if something is good today, it will be good tomorrow."

"it's impossible to understand the present if you cannot see the future."

"there's always this peculiar disconnect between how people exist in the world and how they think the world is supposed to exist."

"the reason something happens is way more important than the action itself."

"where are we going?" i asked.
"i don't know," he said. "just driving."
"but this road doesn't go anywhere," i told him.
"that doesn't matter."
"what does?" i asked, after a little while.
"just that we're on it, dude," he said.

-bret easton ellis, "less than zero"

chuck berry

forgot to post this when i first saw him. yes he is wearing a blue sequined shirt and a sailor's hat.

intern: there he is! tonight, shooters at blockheads, lay a base, and meet up with my brohams for the cornell club?

tracy jordan: you know it briman! i have no idea what either one of us just said.

Steve's Grammatical Observations

watch through to the end for the full effect.

"The first CD I ever bought was Dave Matthews Band's 'Crash'...That is how suburban I am...I finally got into hip hop in '98 when I heard the Annie sample with Jay-Z...When I wrote my 'A Millie' freestyle, that was me listening to 10 years of hip hop and not relating to it at all. Like, damn, I don't sell coke. Damn, I don't have cars or 25-inch rims. I don't have guns. I finally got to a point where I had the confidence to do this thing myself, and I was making music for me. And it turns out, a lot of people feel the same way I do."

-asher roth

"you know the world's gone mad
when blacks wear plaid
and mariah has married nick cannon."

-asher roth

My Son is Gay.

Belvedere Vodka Commercial

one of my favorite commercials. featuring vincent gallo and terry richardson.

nytimes article about a woman who suffered dissociative fugue, my favorite of all the mental disorders learned in abnormal psychology.

nymag refuses to believe her story, but from previously learning about the disorder, i believe it.

for the april 2009 cover of vanity fair, annie leibowitz took the bottom photograph as a spoof of her 2006 cover featuring tom ford, keira knightley, and scarlett johansson. the spoof features jonah hill, seth rogen, jason segel, and paul rudd.

a great spoof, yes. but why are they wearing bodysuits and not actually naked?

thank you jezebel.com for making me wonder about this seemingly unimportant fact...

"i've been a star since pat benatar and i still want the house, the boat, the truck, and the car"

-masta ace f/ marco polo, "nostalgia"