Wednesday, December 30, 2009

every time i learn the truth about something, i'm disappointed.

just finished chuck klosterman's newest book, eating the dinosaur. he's officially my favorite author.

some choice quotations below:

"Do I want to be presented in a way that I would like to be seen? Of course, but 'the way I would like to be seen' would almost certainly be an inaccurate, delusional depiction of who I actually am." (p. 16)

"I fear that most contemporary people are answering questions not because they're flattered by the attention; they're answering questions because they feel as though they deserve to be asked. About everything. Their opinions are special, so they are entitled to a public forum. Their voice is supposed to be heard, lest their life become empty. This, in one paragraph (minus the technology), explains the rise of New Media." (p. 19)

"But how do we tell the difference between an instrument and its sound? And - more importantly - what if we're uninterested in accepting that distinction?" (p. 44)

"If you stare long enough at anything, you will start to find similarities. The word coincidence exists in order to stop people from seeing meaning where none exists. So, sure, comparing [Kurt] Cobain and [David] Koresh is a little unfair. Although I'm not sure which one it's unfair to. I feel sorry for both of them. I can see it both ways. That's my problem." (p. 45)

"There is no linear continuation: The past disappears, the future is unimagined, and the present is ephemeral. I cannot be traversed." (p. 52)

"It doesn't matter what you can do if you don't know why you're doing it." (p. 56)

"Every time I learn the truth about something, I'm disappointed." (p. 87)

"The more we know, the less we are able to feel." (p. 91)

"There's a visceral, physiological change that only comes from unknown pleasures." (p. 91)

"As a critic, I have more things to say about the depiction of reality on MTV than about the depiction of reality in reality." (p. 94)

"The upside to knowledge is that it enriches every experience, but the downside is that it limits every experience." (p. 94)

"I would simply be seeing something I could not control and would never understand, and I'd be cognizant of a reality we all consciously realize but rarely accept - that almost all of the world happens without us." (p. 99)

"If you know exactly what's going to happen tomorrow, the voltage of that experience is immediately mitigated. Yet most lives are the same, 95 percent of the time. And most lives aren't extrinsically meaningful, unless you're delusionally self-absorbed or authentically Born Again." (p. 101)

"Everyone sincerely believed that this was the one movie absolutely no one wanted. However, we couldn't agree on who the audience wasn't, so it became a marketing problem." (p. 102)

"Sometimes it's hard to tell if things that happened in your life only happened to you or if they have happened to everyone." (p. 147)

"The mere recognition of an extrinsic reality damages the intrinsic merits of one's own reality. In other words, it's a mistake to (consciously) do what everyone else is doing, just as it's a mistake to (consciously) do the opposite." (p. 151)

"I am open to the possibility that everything has metaphorical merit, and I see no point in sardonically attacking the most predictable failures within any culture. I always prefer to do the opposite, even if my argument becomes insane by necessity." (p. 161)

"If you watch any episode of Seinfeld, you can be 100 percent confident that somebody chuckling in the background is six feet underground. I assume this makes Larry David ecstatic." (p. 164)

"Watch The Daily Show in an apartment full of young progressives and you'll hear them consciously (and unconvincingly) over-laugh at every joke that's delivered, mostly to assure everyone else that they're appropriately informed and predictably leftist." (p. 173)

"One of the principle functions of mass media is to make the world a more fathomable reality - in the short term, it provides assurance and simplicity. But this has a long-term, paradoxical downside. Over time, embracing mass media in its entirety makes people more confused and less secure." (p. 173)

"Watching Mad Men makes me want to trick housewives into buying Tide." (p. 182)

"Conversations between couples are theatrical and symbolic; the first thing anyone realizes the moment they enter a serious relationship is that words (especially during fights) never represent their precise definitions." (p. 206)

"The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people who insist the Internet is wonderful are those who need it to give their life meaning." (p. 224)

"The degree to which anyone values the Internet is proportional to how valuable the Internet makes that person." (p. 224)

"We are living in a manner that is unnatural. We are latently enslaved by our own ingenuity, and we have unknowingly constructed a simulated world. The benefits of technology are easy to point out (medicine, transportation, the ability to send and receive text messages during Michael Jackson's televised funeral), but they do not compensate for the overall loss of humanity that is its inevitable consequence. As a species, we have never been less human than we are right now." (p. 228)

"Instead of confronting reality and embracing the Experience of Being Alive, I will sit here and read about Animal Collective over the Internet. Again. I will read about Animal Collective again." (p. 229)
2 years ago today, i began this blog. 

it's been a wild ride, kids.

Friday, December 25, 2009

just saw avatar. rather, experienced avatar.

closely resembling an acid trip, avatar was a visually stunning 3 hour glimpse into a 3 dimensional, psychedelically colorful, textured world. and i left exhausted.

the plot, characters and dialogue were trite, unimaginative and stale. but this may be the only time i will still say, go see it.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

dad, pay attention.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

"chick goes missing, dude gets involved, dude gets blamed, dude gets girl pregnant, dude finds out big lebowski is responsible. donny dies."

-pete

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Sunday, December 20, 2009


paul rudd cracks me up.
"Quick question - what do you know about the song 'Don't stop Believ'n" by Journey? It was the last song played by the band last nite, and all [of] Dana's friends seemed to have a regular routine in dancing to it. It is a really great song and I wondered if you and your posse are hip to it."

-email from my father
2009 - not a good year for the celebrities.
anonymous.
me: perry!!!
perry: what? what's going on? oh, it's the weekend. [goes back to sleep]
me: what are you doing?
perry: this. [goes back to sleep]

Saturday, December 19, 2009

helping out the trees and the animals this year.

american forests: american forests is a world leader in planting trees for environmental restoration, a pioneer in the science and practice of urban forestry, and a primary communicator of the benefits of trees and forests.

mspca-angell: the mission of the massachusetts society for the prevention of cruelty to animals-angell animal medical center is to protect animals, relieve their suffering, advance their health and welfare, prevent cruelty and work for a just and compassionate society.

Friday, December 18, 2009

"mtv just makes money off of stereotypes."

-perry

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

alice in wonderland.

i've been stating more opinions than usual in the last few posts (i generally use this blog as a means for disseminating the works of others - quotations, art, et cetera), so i figured i'd continue while i was on a roll.

saw this movie poster on the side of a building in midtown today. uhh, where do i start? (be forewarned, this post will shortly venture into the land of feminism and gender equality.)

first of all, this movie is being advertised as written and directed by the same woman who wrote and directed something's gotta give (nancy meyers). i've seen something's gotta give. and i've seen the trailer for it's complicated. and i'm preeeeeetty sure they are the same movie. let's compare:

something's gotta give (2003). starring jack nicholson & diane keaton.
"a swinger on the cusp of being a senior citizen with a taste for young women falls in love with an accomplished woman closer to his age." (imdb)

it's complicated (2009). starring meryl streep & alec baldwin.
"during his son's college graduation, jane hooks up with her ex-husband, jake, who's married to a younger woman." (imdb)

ok, but i don't really give a flying fuck about this nancy meyers lady and the fact that she's plagiarizing her own shit.

what i DO give a flying fuck about is that this poster shows 2 characters, post-coitus, with ms. streep looking guilty and sheepish (ohmigawd i just slept with my ex-husband oh noooo he'll never respect me again ohmigawd) and mr. baldwin looking pretty damn blissed out (no thought bubble to fill in - in the movies, men don't have emotions after sex...they go to sleep).

honestly, i get it. i know this shit appeals to middle america and it probably appeals to a pretty large percentage of coastal america, too. this movie will make a lot of money for nancy meyers and universal pictures and alec baldwin. but that's not what gets me.

what really gets me about all this is meryl streep. i freakin love meryl streep. i think she's a fantastic actress and it goes against all of my aspiring to be at least a little bit counterculture/unpredictable/not a 23 year old upper middle class caucasian cliche to like her as much as i do. and in my mind, meryl streep is a feminist. she's a good-role-choosing feminist. and the fact that she would choose to be in this movie (certainly not for the money) and allow herself to be depicted as in the poster above (certainly meryl freakin streep has some say in this shit), makes me really, really sad.

and now i'm gonna go tell some woman jokes and bake a pie.
a few pop culture remarks...

1. dexter season finale. that final twist was magnificent. props to showtime - you almost lost me as an audience member at the end of last season, and now you have me back 100%.

2. chris brown. i've never really had much to say on the chris brown/rihanna saga. he's retarded, i think that pretty much sums it up. but i just couldn't stay silent regarding his recent twitter post (i refuse to use the noun "tweet"): "im tired of this sh*t. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stocking the shelves and lying to costumers. what the f**k do i gotta do...yeah i said it and i aint retracting shit im not biting my tongue about shit else...the industry can kiss my ass"

well, chris brown, what the fuck do you gotta do? hmm, not beating up a girl might have been a start.

i'm guessing chris's PR people got to him, as his twitter account has subsequently been deleted.

3. jersey shore is awesome.
californication season finale.

actress who plays becca is awful. she acts how she thinks a 14 year old is supposed to act. also, what 14 year old girl tells her dad she just lost her virginity?

sopranos is officially the only television show that has ever done a dream sequence right.

Monday, December 14, 2009


it's been just about 6 months since i moved to new york city, and i figured it was about time that i write a post regarding my initial impressions of this urban jungle and my life in it.

this city is inspiring. i find myself constantly inundated with inspiration. the newest indie movie, a hipster's clothing, the homeless man in front of duane reade telling me christmas without jesus is like mother's day without a mother. i have felt doubly inspired to create since moving to new york.

this city is fucking loud as shit.

i am amazed at how easy it is to be surrounded by people here yet still feel alone. this is neither a positive nor a negative, simply an observation.

before living in new york, i would estimate that less than 1% of my waking hours were spent in elevators. in fact, i would venture to say that less than .1% of my waking hours were spent in elevators. it now feels close to 85%. they make me nauseous.

taxis make me nauseous, too.

i never quite understood people who grew up in new york city but had never explored. i now get it. the west side may as well not exist.

sunshine landmark theater. the ifc center. every indie movie. and every director of every indie movie speaking at the first 3 showings. i fucking love this city for its indie movie selection.

there is always fun to be had and always some cool new bar to check out. yet i can't find a great neighborhood bar in murray hill that isn't overpriced, generic and filled with uggs and leggings.

i can get anything delivered at any time of day. this city is paradise for the lazy and nocturnal.

it is unbelievably easy to live here and forget that anywhere else exists.

i absolutely 100% no question about it love living here right now.

and i absolutely 100% no question about it will not, would not, and could not live my whole life here.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

"american cheese was created for the sole purpose of grilled cheese sandwiches."

-pete goodman
"i like the idea of wes anderson movies more than i actually like wes anderson movies."

-pete goodman

Friday, December 11, 2009

Thursday, December 10, 2009

wassily kandinsky. several circles.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

"In fact, 1999 can be pinpointed as Precisely the Last Year of How Things Used to Be. We listened to music on stereos. We watched TV on TVs. We read books in books and newspapers on newspaper. We didn't yet suspect that our desktops and laptops, lurking innocently in our workspaces and spoon-feeding us e-mail, were exerting a black-hole tug on our lives."

-nymag.com
"To travel back in time to 1999, you have to start by shedding a few things, as though you're going through airport security. No iPod. No smartphone. No YouTube. No Facebook. No Twitter. In 1999, the Internet was shiny-new and just out of the box, and we still believed that its greatest utility was to deliver dog food to our door and packs of gum and cigarettes to us by hand. We were just starting to figure out that the new search site Google, which had launched in 1998, might prove useful for something. We couldn't yet peek 24/7 through our neighbor's digital windows. We knew the word friend but not the word unfriend."

-nymag.com
10 web trends to watch in 2010.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

the roommate.

my first moviemaking venture.

obama on ecstasy.

"The mere recognition of an extrinsic reality damages the intrinsic merits of one's own reality. In other words, it's a mistake to (consciously) do what everyone else is doing, just as it's a mistake to (consciously) do the opposite."

-Chuck Klosterman, "Feeding the Dinosaurs"

Monday, December 7, 2009





abstract images i've recently come upon.

skydiving.

never actually got the video onto the blog before now. word.

"i personally would know nothing about doing a show on comedy central that nobody watches."

i love these men.

"once upon a time
there was a wee man
with a giant nose
and he sneezed,
and there was a hurricane"

Sunday, December 6, 2009

"Do I want to be presented in a way that I would like to be seen? Of course, but 'the way I would like to be seen' would almost certainly be an inaccurate, delusional depiction of who I actually am."

-Chuck Klosterman, "Eating the Dinosaur"

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Sunday, November 29, 2009

aha. i am andy warhol.
"Most people who stay in bed for 20 hours a day are either dead, morbidly obese, or getting high and eating cookies."

-gawker

Friday, November 27, 2009

new computer!
"I love America. Just because I think gay dudes should be allowed to adopt kids and we should all have hybrid cars doesn't mean I don't love America."

-Liz Lemon

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Monday, November 23, 2009

Saturday, November 21, 2009



a few of my favorites from patrick moberg's animal pharm.
"in the beginning the Universe was created. this has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."

-douglas adams
"i love deadlines. i like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

-douglas adams
"to summarize the summary of the summary, people are a problem."

-douglas adams

tumblr is a bottle of wine.
a quiet night in with a couple friends, and a couple of their friends. spilling nostalgic stories, flipping through photo albums, singing favorite songs, aiming for poignancy, and occasionally stumbling onto it. emotions flow freely and without thought.

twitter is crack cocaine.
fucking ANYONE is your friend. yuppies do it on their iphone. cheap. short. fruitless.

youtube is shots of tequila.
"just ONE" to humor your friends quickly turns into 4 or 5. anything and everything becomes wildly entertaining. a fun way to waste some time you won't really remember the details of. probably for the best.

vimeo is a tab of good acid.
everyone here is pretty nice and pretty chill. you'll witness some truly beautiful things. sometimes emotional, visits can be long or short, but you'll leave amazed, and with a better understanding of the world.

facebook is a vodka cranberry.
social lubricant used to enhance still developing social etiquette. you're aware of your uninhibited actions, but comforted by the built in safety net of excuses.

myspace is huffing spray paint.
destroys any chance of looking credible. you will be perceived as having the mindset of a middle schooler, and probably do.

digg is bong hits of weed.
sensationalist political and religious talk. plans of overthrowing mass media fall prey to collective laziness. obsess over some "mind blowing" HDR photography.

gmail is caffeine pills.
great for a quick pick me up to stimulate productivity, but ultimately leaves you exhausted and relying on it.

Friday, November 20, 2009

"They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock. Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy."

-Tina Fey

Thursday, November 19, 2009

lost.

lost. final season. february 2, 2010. 9pm.

j.j. abrams and damon lindelof - i both love and hate you immensely.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

"Heavy is the head that eats the crayons. Gonna take a nap. See you in 10 hours."

-Tracy Jordan
do you realize
that everyone you know
someday will die.

-the flaming lips, "do you realize"

Monday, November 16, 2009

"Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world."

-arthur schopenhauer

Saturday, November 14, 2009

it's not that what we're doing is wrong
but let's try to keep this here a secret
between me, you, and this song
ménage à trois that sings to me
sinfully
when god plays along.
~
i was sweet on her
she was sweet on jesus
we slept with a blanket barrier between us
master of her craft, i had her laughing like hyenas
when i asked her if she'd marry an elitist
staggering genius in lace
with the grace of a drunken monk
the mask isn't seamless 'cause her face says something's up
but i don't dare ask her i just listen
switching to my good ear and adjusting my position
as she discussed ginsberg i listen and learn
as she disperses words i just resisted the urge to do like he would
whatever he wanted, if she allowed me to
she dangled that carrot and asked me:
"what would bukowski do?"
don't go there
he'd make you his mom and then completely lie about it in a book later on.
~
spirits were lifted when she whispered something french in my ear
tension was there
when i responded in english it sounded less sincere
the sex in the air couldn't be left alone
so welcome to the terrordome
a bedroom full of pheromones
where nothing that we say is set in stone
if i thought it was for posterity i'd already be writing better poems
but i'm talking in extremes
best this and best that
best not regret anything that ever gets said to this hell cat
creeping on all fours
ready for combat
with secretive wars sneaking her claws in our contract
bending every which way but loose with no proof
that anything we've suggested to this day is the whole truth.
~
i heard her chemical romance was a medical slow dance
said my advance was sexual
held my genitals with cold hands
set up the coke cans
broke out the red ryder
and one by one i tried to knock down everything that's dead inside her
she used to treat street dividers like a balance beam
arms spread wider than the legs in her dad's magazine
re-enacting the pages that she got trapped between
i used it for kindling and then spilled the gasoline
now i'm your water boy
i fetch it from your cheeks just like tennis balls
smell the stench of your weakness on the bedroom walls
somebody careless let 'em vaporize
who let these fall to the floor from your poor vacant eyes
disintegrate
this ain't a great first impression
but i work better on page, they say words are my profession
let me spell it out in simple language
plain english
i want your suicide to be a book of mine that i never finish.

-sage francis, "got up this morning"
"Somebody at one of these places...asked me: 'What do you do? How do you write, create?' You don't, I told them. You don't try. That's very important: not to try, either for Cadillacs, creation or immortality. You wait, and if nothing happens, you wait some more. It's like a bug high on the wall. You wait for it to come to you. When it gets close enough you reach out, slap out and kill it. Or if you like its look you make a pet out of it."

-charles bukowski
"the future is like a japanese game show. you have no idea what's going on."

-tracy jordan

Friday, November 13, 2009

Sunday, November 8, 2009

where did my belly dvd go?

Saturday, November 7, 2009

rap videos
and girls' digits
a fifteen pack
of blank cassettes for christmas.

-atmosphere, "don't forget"
i sometimes think that the shuffle feature on itunes/ipod can read my mind.
things i miss right now:
boston
new england summer
beach
sand
ocean
the trips to cape cod that happen at a moment's notice

ugh i hate being cliche.

i'm sorry cornelius.

steve miller.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

maine, what the fuck.

Monday, November 2, 2009

"It boggles my mind that more vagrants don't just steal luggage from the baggage claim. There's no security down there and hundreds of free life-starter kits are just circling around, ripe for the taking. It's a hobo's wet dream."

-aaron karo

Friday, October 30, 2009

came here for school, graduated to the high life
ball players, rap stars, addicted to the limelight
mdma got you feeling like a champion
the city never sleeps better slip you a ambien.

-jay-z, "empire state of mind"

Thursday, October 29, 2009

excited for thanksgiving.

Guests will have a choice of one option from each of the five sections of this lavish menu designed by Chef Bruce:

Course One
Select Oyster and Prosecco Stew
Slivered Lemon Toast

Spinach and Crabmeat Topped Baked Shrimp
Sweet Corn and Chardonnay Cream

Red Kuri Squash, Maitake Mushroom and Shallot Risotto
Toasted Pepita Nuts and Pumpkin Oil

Course Two
Wood Grilled Atlantic Halibut
Saffron Shrimp Broth

Duet of Scallop Cannelloni and Seared Diver Scallop
Cider Butter and Macomber Turnips

Goat Cheese and Roasted Tomato Topped Organic Pork Tenderloin with Turnip Greens

Course Three
Kale and Caramelized Onion Stuffed Organic Turkey Breast
Pecan Raisin Dressing

Prosciutto Wrapped Venison Loin
Beluga Lentil Ragout, Swiss Chard and Black Current Sauce

Wood Grilled Filet Mignon with Soft Whipped Potatoes, Horseradish Onion Cream Meritage Syrup

Cheese and Salads
Cucumber Wrapped Orange Laced Baby Greens with Candied Pecans and Zest

American Eppoise, Cashel Blue Cheeses with Cracked Pepper Plum Compote

Selection of Artisan Cheeses with Grilled Baguettes
Brown Turkish Figs in Syrup

Sweets
White Fruit Tasting Plate of Banana and Caramel Cheese Tart, Roasted Bartlett Pear Crisp,
Warm Apple Cider Crêpe

Autumn Red Fruit Tasting Plate of Cranberry Upside Down Cake, Warm Plum Pie,
Red Current Crème Brûlée

Chocolate Tasting Plate of White Chocolate Fondant Strudel, Milk Chocolate Brioche Pudding,
Dark Chocolate Panna Cotta
"oh u think ur soooo cool cuz u live in ny...with ur corny rap lyrics and hipster shoes. dork."

-my biggest fan
new york, big city of dreams
to get by cats doin' plenty of things
it's a honest hustle
but you gotta have some kinda muscle
either it's that or get signed by russell.

-masta ace, "big city"

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

top chef.

"hey, this is a personal choice."

-kevin, top chef contestant, discussing his weight


some other things to discuss about top chef:

michael voltaggio, you may be good looking, but you come off as a pompous douche.

robin, get the fuck off the show.
unless you are allergic to rain, there is absolutely no reason to have an umbrella that takes up the entire sidewalk.

Monday, October 26, 2009

religion.



"Also also, while we're on the recession/hipsters topic: having ProTools and large headphones does not make you a musician. Writing poetry in your house about your ex-girlfriend does not make you a poet. If your novel is unpublished, you are not a novelist. If, however, you wait tables in a cafe, you are definitively a waiter."

-gawker

Sunday, October 25, 2009

"I get the sense that most of the core questions dwell on the way media perception constructs a fake reality that ends up becoming more meaningful than whatever actually happened."

-chuck klosterman on the larger themes of eating the dinosaur
"Chuck Klosterman has chronicled rock music, film, and sports for almost fifteen years. He's covered extreme metal, extreme nostalgia, disposable art, disposable heroes, life on the road, life through the television, urban uncertainty and small-town weirdness. Through a variety of mediums and with a multitude of motives, he's written about everything he can think of (and a lot that he's forgotten). The world keeps accelerating, but the pop ideas keep coming.

In Eating the Dinosaur, Klosterman is more entertaining and incisive than ever. Whether he's dissecting the boredom of voyeurism, the reason why music fans inevitably hate their favorite band's latest album, or why we love watching can't-miss superstars fail spectacularly, Klosterman remains obsessed with the relationship between expectation, reality, and living history. It's amateur anthropology for the present tense, and sometimes it's incredibly funny."

-synopsis of eating the dinosaur
very excited to:

a) hear chuck klosterman speak tomorrow
b) buy chuck klosterman's new book
c) get said book signed by chuck klosterman
troy: you're saying i could be a lawyer.
jeff: i'm saying you're a football player. it's in your blood.
troy: that's racist.
jeff: your soul.
troy: that's racist.
jeff: your eyes?
troy: that's gay?
jeff: that's homophobic.
troy: that's black.
jeff: that's racist.
troy: damn.

-community

Monday, October 19, 2009

why i am a realist.

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;
an optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty."

-winston churchill

"A realist sees the need for another drink!"


-greeting card from my mother
"The only thing I've really...taken from this sad story, besides the fact that reality television is bad for people - literally, people, children: from the Gosselins to the Heenes - is that the harder you try to set the truth adrift, the more obfuscation you bury it under, and the more piles of bullshit you throw on top of it, the more gravity is stripped from it, so that, like that goddamn balloon, it rises up, up, up and out of plain view, for everyone to see, completely out of reach of the person from which it had to come from."

-gawker

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Saturday, October 17, 2009

where the wild things are.

i'm not sure what more can be said about where the wild things are that hasn't already, but i'll take a go.

the movie's visuals were hauntingly, startlingly beautiful. landscapes stretched into the distance, seemingly never-ending. the ocean, desert, and forest were textured and massive and real.

the wild things themselves were detailed and textured and emotive. this was the muppets for adults.

karen o.'s soundtrack added to the eeriness of the movie. where the wild things are wasn't scary, it was deep and dark and haunting and dug at your soul.

the acting was superb. max records (playing max) didn't seem to act. he was simply a kid whose eyes we got to see the world through. and james gandolfini, as the voice of wild thing carol, expressed all the same emotions as max through a 10 foot monster.

several reviews i've read have had problems with a lacking plot. well, i didn't. had the movie strayed too far from the book, we would all be watching a shitty kid's movie with bad acting. as spike jonze has said, he didn't want to make a movie for children; he wanted to make a movie about childhood.

and that brings me to spike jonze. the man gets it. i don't know how he remembers the feelings of being a child so well, but he manages to get us to a place that we were all once at, whether we remember it or not. no matter where or how you grew up, we were all children once - powerless, small, uncontrolled, and uncontrollable. and that is what where the wild things are gets to the root of so beautifully.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Thursday, October 15, 2009

there's a map for that.

this is certainly a better rebuttal to apple than microsoft's "i'm a pc" ads were.

the only problem is, we all still want the iphone.

do you always want what you think you want?

"Quit this life as soon as possible. Get out. You're doing a documentary about a brain-dead person."

-maurice sendak

Monday, October 12, 2009

i love sarah silverman too much not to post this.

i needed a haircut badly yesterday, and found a place online near my apartment. the website of the salon looked decent and the yelp reviews fine. 

i ended up at a old-lady russian salon. i am pretty sure i was the only person under the age of 55 to enter, ever. the only other customer in the salon was a lady (and yes, i am using the word "lady" with all its connotations) in curlers.

i almost ran out the door before they could sit me in the shampoo chair, but i really needed a haircut. as my mother says, i was starting to look homeless.

thinking this experience couldn't get much more hilarious (and because i'm not particularly picky about my haircuts), i settled into the shampoo chair for a scalp massage that was actually rather pleasant. i closed my eyes and listened to the relaxing music, the soft-rock love song, "lady in red."

the song ended. then began again.

i got up from my shampoo and began to get my hair cut.

the song ended. then began again.

split ends got chopped off.

the song ended. then began again.

here i was, sitting in an old-lady russian hair salon, listening to "lady in red" on loop.

i've gotten several compliments on my hair today, so i guess it looks nice. but if i ever hear "lady in red" again, i will rip off my ears.

scary.


click for a larger image.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

"The Office sustained a will-they-or-won't-they plotline for nearly four seasons, brought the couple together, got them married, and made us cheer for them, all without losing any momentum. And it all culminated in a sweet episode featuring vomiting and ripped scrotums. That works."

-NYmag.com

Friday, October 9, 2009

i just received the following email from zappos:

"Dear Jennifer,

Good news!

Although you originally ordered Standard (4 to 5 business days) shipping and handling, we have give your order special priority processing in our warehouse and are upgrading the shipping and delivery time frame for your order. Your order will ship out today and be given a special priority shipping status so that you can receive your order even faster than we originally promised!

Please note that this is being done at no additional cost to you. It is simply our way of saying thank you for being our customer."

and this, my friends, is absolutely PERFECT customer service.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

irving penn (june 16, 1917 - october 7, 2009)

gilbert gottfried was just a bit too nutsy for me when i saw him perform live (and that's saying something), but his new york magazine interview is perfect.

Name: Gilbert Gottfried
Age: "15"
Neighborhood: Lower East Side
Occupation: "Steam Roller"

Who's your favorite New York, living or dead, real or fictional?
Hamlet. Few people know it. He is a New Yorker and he works in a pizza store in Tribeca.

What's the best meal you've eaten in New York?
Anything that someone else has paid for.

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
Wonder if people will discover that I have no talent whatsoever.

Would you still live here on a $35,000 salary?
In Manhattan, that's what homeless people make.

What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?
A homeless man peeing on himself.

Do you give money to panhandlers?
No, I say, "Wait right there. I'll be right back."

What's your drink?
Cyanide.

How often do you prepare your own meals?
That depends on whether you consider toaster waffles a meal.

What's your favorite medication?
I'm old-fashioned, so I still do heroin.

What's hanging about your sofa?
I don't know, but it's starting to smell.

How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
Anything above $2 including tip and you're getting ripped off.

What's bedtime?
Why are you rushing me? I don't even know you.

Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square?
The old Times Square. I used to get great exercise when junkies were chasing me down the street.

What do you think of Donald Trump?
A little too shy and insecure.

What do you hate most about living in New York?
Having New York magazine come after me with stupid questions.

Who is your mortal enemy?
Lex Luthor.

When's the last time you drove a car?
The judge says I can't talk about that right now.

How has the Wall Street crash affected you?
I already told you, the judge said I can't talk about that.

Times, Post, or Daily News?
Whichever one they're handing out free on the street that day.

Where do you go to be alone?
My bed.

What makes someone a New Yorker?
A criminal record.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

A verdant landscape filled with beautiful animals of all kinds, harp music, cumulus clouds in a bright-blue sky, and happy people conversing pleasantly, sipping cold sake from homemade bamboo cups.

-martha stewart

Monday, October 5, 2009

"The list of universities that make one eligible for membership in the Ivy Plus Society reads like an index of the country's most prestigious academic institutions: Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Columbia, Dartmouth, Washington University in St. Louis.

Washington U? Really? Yes, that's where the 'Plus' comes in (but only if you attended medical school there)."

-NY Times

fuck you to: the ivy plus society and katherine bindley of the new york times.

and nobody calls it Washington U, retards.
saw more than a game this weekend. while the contents of this documentary were interesting, it was very poorly constructed. the timeline was unclear. characters were not well introduced. the beginning, middle and end were intertwined.

the movie could also have gone more in-depth into various relationships. weren't lebron james's four best friends jealous of his immense success? how did they all interact with the few white kids on their high school basketball team? and just how nuts is gloria james, lebron's mother?


this article perfectly encapsulates my childhood memories of mcdonalds.

Saturday, October 3, 2009



last night played ping pong with judah friedlander (frank from 30 rock).

i feel cool now.

Friday, October 2, 2009

say what you want about david letterman's personal choices, but this was an absolutely phenomenal PR move.

seinfeld reunion on curb means i can die happy.

Larry [David] is known for irritating people. What bothers you about him?
Jerry Seinfeld: Watching him order in a restaurant. A little too much thought goes into it. Speed it up, get it out. Just get the fish! You know you're going to get the fish!

What current annoyance of yours would you turn into a Seinfeld episode?
JS: Oh my goodness. It's an open fire hydrant of annoyance. Right now I've really had it with the Corona ads. Lying on the beach, throwing the cell phones in the water, and the idiot girl lying next to him, bubbling up with skin cancer. I'm tired of it. You know, the fantasy that the beach is this great destination that we all want to get to with a beer. It's like, fifteen minutes ... "What am I doing here? Let's get out of here." It's time for a new ad for the Corona people. It's time for a new idea. But they won't. They're going to stick with that beach thing forever.

What about living in New York annoys you these days?
JS: People not being happy with my phone because it's not as cool as their phone, or they have some feature that I don't have and they're always showing me, "Oh, my phone can do this" and "my phone can do that."

Your friends are not happy with your phone?
JS: I just have a Razr, an old Motorola Razr. I don't have a BlackBerry or an iPhone. My friends are very cranky about it: "What are you still using that for?" I see you've got a pad and a pen, by the way. How lame is that? [Laughs] With a spiral at the top!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

new yorker subscription being ordered today.

i'm on my way to becoming an elitist intellectual...YES.

Monday, September 28, 2009

"...for it is a very strange, magical, intense film."

-chris heath of GQ magazine on spike jonze's where the wild things are

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Friday, September 25, 2009

if you have to ask the price, you can't afford them.


nike's "what the dunk"
also recently watched the royal tenenbaums. dynamic ensemble cast, the usual wes anderson style. and there was something particularly captivating in the way that margot tenenbaum (gwyneth paltrow) smoked her cigarettes. 
forgot to post about it might get loud. fantastic movie. it taught me several things:

1. jack white is awesome.
2. the edge is awesome.
3. jimmy page is fucking awesome.
4. i would very much like to be a rock star.