"when i was in college, i used to get wicked hammered. my nickname was puke. i would chug a fifth of soco. sneak into a frat party. polish off a few people's empties. some brewskies. some jello shots. do some body shots off myself. pass out. wake up the next morning. boot. rally. more soco. head to class. probably would've gotten expelled if i'd let it affect my grades, but i aced all my courses. they called me ace. it was totally awesome. got straight b's. they called me buzz."

-andy bernard